A Valentine's Day Alteration
by Cosmic Empress
Summary: The power of a kiss is never to be underestimated. A single kiss has caused empires to fall, but it can be deliciously enlightening.
1. Chapter 1

It started as an ordinary day. Sheldon and Amy was no longer a "thing". Penny's disinterest in Leonard didn't dissuade the hobbit like man from longing after her.

Oh I forgot to mention it is February 14, 2014, (a Friday). Yes that's right- Valentine's Day. Anyways, back to the story.

Sheldon's hiding out in his locked office from the excited graduate students who heard that he was single, once again. He was in his Friday outfit. The blue-eyed man flinched every time he made a noise as the girls outside his office door would bother him.

Before lunch could even pass, Sheldon's nerves were frayed. He fished his phone from his pocket then hit one on the speed dial. He anxiously waited for the most important person in his life to answer.

"Hello Moon Pie," a female voice on the other side of the connection greeted. To him, it was like an angel come to save him. "What's wrong? You never call from work unless something's up." The woman said quietly, almost whispering.

"I find myself in distress due to this absurd holiday. You need to rescue me, Penny."

Penny smiled on her line, "The girls won't leave ya alone, huh."

Apparently, the girls on the other side of the door had heard his voice as they started slipping cards with numbers under the door.

"Dr. Cooper can you explain your theory to me," a sugary voice called out.

"No, Dr. Cooper promised to look over my research paper," argued another voice from the door.

"Please, Penny. Get me out of here anyway possible," Sheldon Lee Cooper actually begged his neighbor/ best friend.

"Be ready to go when I knock on the door, sweetie." Penny bought the green dress she had been eyeing at Gordman's. "May I change into this in your bathroom?" Penny batted her naturally long lashes at the nerdy cashier.

The cashier in thick lensed glasses nodded, unable to say a word. His shirt had Superman winking with a speech bubble of "Even Heroes peek…"

Penny unlatched a white gold necklace that bore a ring and "Open Heart" charm. She slid the simple ring that had once been her grandmother's on her special finger.

She drove at a limit that would do a Nascar driver proud, to reach the helpless physicist.

Knock- knock- knock "Sheldon."

Knock- knock- knock "Sheldon."

Knock- knock- knock "Sheldon."

The triple knock pattern that was Sheldon's signature knock told him, it was Penny. She was his angel in his time of distress. She was too fine to be a hero. He was about to open the door when a haughty voice said, "I told you, He wouldn't open the door for you." Just then Sheldon opened the door.

Penny placed the hand that bore her grandmother's engagement ring on Sheldon's chest for leverage to rise up to lay a passionate kiss on his firm lips. Penny made sure the kiss made them look like a couple while the ring was visible to the self-important bitches.

There were groans of disappointment while some hung their heads as they walked away. Others dragged their feet in despair.

A realization or epiphany hit Sheldon like a run away locomotive on the downward slope of a mountain. Penny's kiss didn't make him want to run screaming to the bathroom to disinfect his mouth with Listerine unlike Amy's or Ramona's forced kiss including Beverly's. He felt sparks, but he'd claim them to be new neurons firing off in his brain.

He grasped her hand, causing a tingling sensation to race to his heart. He still felt no desire to wash the parts of body that came into contact with Penny's.

New ideas and thoughts ran rampant in Sheldon's brains, distracting him from car games or Penny's check engine light. He didn't care where she was taking him, that showed how much he trusted her.

1.) She made the others come after him after the Artic Fiasco.

2.) She might mock him aka Whack-A-Doodle, but she did it affectionately.

3.) She sang Soft Kitty and he sang it to her.

4.) She made him see reason when his brain refused to shut-down.

5.) He turned to her when he needed social advice.

Absentmindedly, he nodded when Penny suggested an Italian place by the beach for lunch. He grabbed her hand as they entered the Marco's, a quaint and barely known restaurant.

Penny's eyebrows rose at this new behavior of Sheldon's.

He felt assured as he held her hand. He pulled out her chair like a gentleman his mama raised him to be.

Penny moved to kiss Sheldon's forehead to check his temperature, but Sheldon moved his head up to see what she was doing, causing their lips to collide.

More sparks flared in Sheldon's body and brain. A hidden part of Sheldon came out, sensations took over. He had no intention of stopping the delicious kiss so he pulled Penny closer then tilted his head for better access.

Penny whimpered as she felt heat pooling in her nether regions. Her arms felt compelled to wrap around his shoulders and neck.

A discreet cough from the waiter brought them back to reality or was it the present.

Penny blushed in embarrassment that everyone saw their kiss. However, Sheldon smiled in joy.

The developing couple ate with few words needing to be exchanged. They didn't want alcohol to inhibit this day.

After lunch, they walked through Marco's private and somewhat hidden garden. Sheldon relayed idealistic facts about flowers in hopes it would come across as a romantic gesture to Penny. He loved the sweetheart neckline of Penny's dress.

"A woman's lips are often compared to a red rose for lushness and pigment. I must say that a rose pales in comparison to your divine lips," Sheldon brushed his thumb over said lips.

Penny leaned her head against his chest, above his human heart as they walked backed to her car. Sheldon directed Penny to a park, he visited when he needed to get away from the guys.

A secret swing was at the base of an aged weeping willow. He let her sit there while he pushed her higher off the ground.

"The wind in my face gives me the feeling of being free. I come here to get away from Leonard's mockery and the guys' taunts," he confessed. He was tired of the world criticizing him for not understanding him.

Penny twisted in the swing until she faced Sheldon. She grabbed his shirt to pull him down, but he willingly knelt on the soft lush green grass. "As a child, I realized that when I was teased or ridiculed by others, they were jealous. After that realization, I never took their words to heart." Penny stated to help Sheldon in his insecurity before laying a kiss on him. She deepened the kiss after five seconds.

Sheldon had no problem sliding his tongue along hers.

She was formulating a plan in her mind to deal with Leonard, who the others followed in Sheldon's absence. She knew that Leonard would cause problems once he found out about her budding romance with Sheldon. She didn't want to rush Sheldon, but she knew that she couldn't let him drag his feet on progress.

The duo was inseparable for the rest of the day, with romantic intentions. They rode the train similar to the Boone Scenic Railroad in Iowa.

They filled a white lidded cooler with a bottle of sparkling pear juice, salad kits, rotisserie wonder chicken sandwiches and chocolate dipped strawberries for dessert. The wheeled the red cooler to the beach for a sunset picnic.

Sometimes, chocolate from the strawberries melted on Penny's fingers, but she'd lick or suck it off, causing Sheldon's eyes to darken in masculine desire.

She had equipment for camping in the truck so she had no reason to go back to her apartment. She dropped him off at the apartment building with a good- night kiss.

Penny drove to the campgrounds of her selection. She couldn't go camping with Leonard as his asthma would kick in and he knew little about survival. She wanted to camp under the stars and catch her own food.


	2. Chapter 2

Penny woke up Saturday morning, feeling refreshed. She was pretty sure that it was all a dream, but she still put her plan into action.

She left an anonymous message on President Siebert's office phone, "Leonard Hofstader sabotaged the North Pole monopole experiment, wasting valuable grant money." Penny dropped off an unmarked envelope with a voice recording and papers to the University Board of Directors' drop box.

Another unmarked manila envelope was placed in the landlady of Los Robles' mail box.

An audio message told Mrs. Hofstader about the irresponsibility of her youngest and his most likely future situation.

The next 36 hours were going to prove to be very interesting, indeed. However in Leonard's case, it would be a very distressing 36 hours.

Leonard's calls to Penny were blocked and proof of his neediness. Penny was still at the campgrounds, so she wasn't answering the door. Leonard couldn't shake the feeling of unease at Sheldon's silence. Leonard could almost swear that Sheldon was in a day dream state with his silly (love-sick) smile and the music variety playing.

Sheldon was gone all Sunday as was his overnight bag. His browser history showed searches for campgrounds in the Pasadena area. He used an application on his phone to locate Penny before taking a taxi to the campgrounds. He then used the GPS on Penny's phone to find her on foot.

He walked along a small path that wound through the woods to a river. He had to stay on the path or risk raspberry thorns and poison ivy/ oak. The rocky river banks made walking harder, but he managed to get to Penny in a lounge chair.

He gazed at her while she dowsed with a fishing pole propped in rocks. He was amazed at her ingenious thinking. A piece of yarn tied to her hand and pole would alarm her if she snagged a fish.

He kneeled in front of her as he prepared to shake her awake. He hesitated as he thought that she looked more peaceful than ever before.

Penny hummed as her eyelids fluttered open. It truly reminded Sheldon of butterflies which he felt in his stomach. He patiently waited for her focus to reestablish itself.

"Moonpie, what are you doing here?" Penny stayed seated as she was still attached to the fishing pole.

"You know only Meemaw has the authority to call me that," Sheldon scolded. "The reason I'm in this wilderness is you have not called me after our lip-locking. I thought the protocol, after such an encounter, was that we were a couple." His eyebrows were creased.

Penny's eyes widened as she finally realized that Friday was NOT a dream. "I woke-up Saturday, thinking Friday was nothing but a dream. I am not avoiding you because I find you distasteful. If anything, I am avoiding Leonard and enjoying the great outdoors. I think it would be in your best interest if you stayed here with me until the storm has blown over." Her eyes showed her concern for Sheldon and his well-fare.

"The forecast shows no storm coming our way."

Penny untied the string from her wrist, but kept her eye on the fishing pole. Her hands cupped his clean- shaven chin. "Your safety requires that you stay here." She looked him square in the eyes full of compassion. Her green and gold stripes sleeveless shirt was not ridiculously tight, but couldn't be considered baggy.

"Penny, what have you done?" Sheldon shook his head, "Never mind, you have never done wrong by me."

Penny smiled a mega-watt smile before kissing Sheldon straight on the month. Her lips moved to motivate him to do the same. They were the only ones that they trusted.

They were pulled from this loving kiss as the bobbin began to pop up and down in the water. Penny laughed in joy, "Dinner it is!" She yanked the pole out of the rock crevice to play with the fish so it would wear itself out. She let the line go for a little bit before reeling it back in several times.

Few good minutes of fighting, Penny pulled the fish all the way to shore. A one person sized meal aka bass was displayed in pride. Penny urged Sheldon to take her picture with it.

"What about my meal?" Sheldon complained good heartedly.

"Oh, don't tell me your gramps didn't teach you to fish?" Penny knew better because she heard all about how he had watch football and shot a gun so fishing would be included, too.

Sheldon pouted before he snagged ½ a night crawler on the hook. He judged in his mind the best place to throw his line before putting the grey pole across his shoulder then tossing it like an expert. He moved the line like it was alive to catch a fish's attention as he was taught. He found it oddly soothing with nature all around him.

Penny pointed out a deer that wandered to the river to drink. An awed expression took over Sheldon's features as he watched the sight. Soon after, another bass tugged on Sheldon's line, but put up a bigger fight than Penny's did.

Penny was taking nature photos with her camera. She did a three piece for some wall art.

"Penny, why are you not at work?"

"The Cheesecake Factory had a leak that required a plumber; it was going to be closed for two days until the plumber accidentally cut the gas line between the stove and sink. They are still paying me for nine hours each day that I miss without taking it from my vacation pay. Now, a restoration crew has to come in to repair the damage from the leaking sewer line."


	3. Chapter 3

Monday rolled around with a sense of foreboding to Leonard. Sheldon had not returned to the apartment. He was greeted at the university's entrance by President Siebert.

"Sir, have you seen Sheldon," Leonard questioned.

"Good morning, Dr. Holstader. Dr. Cooper is taking some leave until an issue is resolved. I have something to discuss with you in my office." The university official led the way to his office. The man had a hard look to his eyes as he closed and locked the heavy solid wood door. "Some very damaging information has come to light not only to me, but the Board of Directors."

Leonard in his pull over hoodie felt like a canary trapped in a cage with a very hungry cat. "How can I help the university is fixing one of Sheldon's outrageous demands?" he tried to stupidly pass the problem onto Sheldon's shoulder, making his look like a freak.

President Siebert's eyes narrowed as he realized how much of a friend Leonard really was. "His only blunder is in trusting a sniveling worm like you," snarled the taller man, causing Leonard to shrink in fear.

"I have put up with his retarded routines, frakking food requirements and ludicrous rules," whined the ever pathetic man named Leonard. He wanted to look like a victim and to have pity help win this battle.

"Your co-workers and I have heard you on numerous occasions putting down Dr. Cooper. Barely a week goes by without you complaining. A normal person would move out if they couldn't handle his room- mate, but you tell everyone and laugh," Joel snapped. "The Board of Directors is investigating your sabotage of Dr. Sheldon Cooper's monopole experiment at the North Pole. In a week's time, I highly suspect your contract to be terminated. Your credibility in the science community will forever be tarnished. I will also be looking into the matter of the missing rocket fuel." The steely look in the president's eyes glinted as if he already knew that outcome.

"You don't know what it was like up there!" Leonard shrieked, tried to foolishly explain. "He called in sick to avoid me after ratting me out like a weasel."

"You knew what he was like so you had ample time to turn down his offer. He was trying to share the credit with you fools. The envelopes sent to the BOD and me were marked from a different zip- code, those envelopes had the information and proof of your leading role in the North Pole Fiasco. What you did was absolutely unprofessional."

This information left Leonard a blubbering mess as he could not explain his way out of. He went home to figure out who would have ousted him if not Sheldon. He could swear all his fellow scientists glared and snorted at him in contempt as if they heard about his unprofessional behavior.

A furious pounding on 4A's door disturbed his thoughts.

He looked in the peephole to see his land lady's beet red face. "How may I assist you, today?"

A Notice to Vacation was shoved in his face, "I want you out by Friday."

"What is the reason behind my room- mate's and my notice? We have been model tenants."

A sharp look made Leonard take a step back. "The Notice only has YOUR name on it. I have been informed by an anonymous source that you are the cause of the elevator being broken; losing me possible tenants who refuse to climb stairs when we have an elevator." Her husband had been a civil attorney for 30 years before dying due to colon cancer at 60. Her legal jargon was extensive. "I filed a civil suit for the damages and money lost with a court order enforcing the notice. A sheriff will escort you off the premises if you are not gone by Friday night." She turned sharply on her heel to begin her march down the stairs.

"But…" Leonard stuttered as he was overwhelmed. He now had to find a new place of employment and residence. He collapsed on the couch with his head clasped in his hands. He could no longer maintain his emotional barrier; he sobbed in his hands.

His phone rang with an alarming proximity to his break down. When he saw his mother's number, his eyes could not stop from widening in fear. He had to swallow (gulp) to get rid of the lump in his throat before answering, "Hello mother, what is the pleasure of this call?"

"I can tell from your sniffling that you have been crying so the situation I heard about is not a prank on me. How could you sabotage a fellow scientist's work? I know your father and I raised you to have morals so we are not to blame. How you could also risked your government security clearance to impress a girl that you did not know? What is going on in that needy brain of yours?" Leonard's psychological mother berated the shorter and lesser intelligent of her three children.

"Mother, how do you know about my situation? You don't know what it was like dealing with Sheldon's idiocies constantly. I had to diffuse the situation or risk us killing him via barring him from the station."

"Leonard, it seems oblivious to me to that you are jealous of your roommate to the point of sabotaging what could have been his Noble Prize. In our commiques, Sheldon has informed me of your continuous childish behavior of mocking to his person. I can no longer stand the disrespect that you show to others," Beverly Hofstadter's next statement was going to make an impact on Leonard's life.

"What others?" Leonard rudely interrupted.

"Penelope Regina Queen for instance. However, I am going to change that once you move back down to New Jersey. I assume that you are starting to pack as is required of the land lady."

"I have never put Penny down," Leonard disputed the truth.

"I know that you have belittled her beliefs and her attempts at stardom in hopes she will stay with you. You play the victim card to have coitus with her, hoping she will pity you enough. I have seen Penny's management skills and talked to the Vice President of the Cheesecake Factory about putting her into the management program. I will see at the airport on Thursday…" There was an underlying threat to the last sentence.

"Yes," Leonard was resigned to his doomed fate that he was responsible for entirely.

Beverly was the one to end the phone call, making her youngest see that he had 3 days to pack. Leonard banged his head against the door as he realized what going back to New Jersey curtailed for him.

"I'm a failure," Leonard whispered. His greasy hair had left a smear on the back of the door. He drove to The Home Depot, listening to Alanis Morrisette, to get all different sizes of boxes along with packing tape. His next stop was the Post Office to give his change of address.

Meanwhile, FBI agents contacted President Joel Seibert about reviewing the security codes to the fuel's vault then surveillance videos.

They saw Dr. Barry Kripke enter the room, but the conversation was particularly one-sided since they had a hard time understanding Kripke due to his lisp. Then Dr. Leslie Winkle came in to fool around with Leonard while ranting about Sheldon's quirks.

Agent Amanda Jannesen raised an eyebrow, "Sounds like she has a crush on Dr. Cooper."

Finally, they saw Leonard receive a call, "I'll be glad to show you what I do." With that, he used his security code of 6789 to remove the metal cylinder of rocket fuel.

Agent Henry Ford was looking into accidents involving Leonard, but only one stood out. He was talking to the land lady at Robles apartments then took samples from the elevator shaft that looked like burns.

"Amanda, I have possible fuel burns from Leonard's apartment's elevator. It seems he miscalculated the mixing ratios. I'm taking the scrapings to the lab to be tested. We should have results within the hour," Agent Ford reported over a navy blue IPhone.


	4. Chapter 4

Sheldon came home Tuesday to get a fresh set of laundry, only to find Leonard's stuff in cardboard boxes with dumb labels like Action Heroes, comics, and books. His eidetic memory allowed him to figure out what items of his were not in their places like a Sailor Cosmos figurine with a signed manga by Naoko Takeuchi, a photo of both Sheldon and Penny after the Artic Fiasco and a book with Sheldon's corrections on Experimental Physics.

He located the missing picture, but it was torn in half before being placed in the garbage. That photo was proof that Penny was the only one who cared to go after him when his career was ruined. He had placed great value on it, sentimentally. He angered him to know that his roommate's jealousy knew no bounds. Sheldon's blood pressure increased as his nostrils flared with his hands clenched, unknowingly.

His fist almost punched a hole in the door as he knocked.

"What do you want?" sneered a now vicious homoculus. His anger that was once disbelief was focused at all, but himself. He blamed all that were more successful than him.

"What is the meaning of this?" A wide sweep of his hand around the room was included.

Leonard's flawed mouth quirked up on one side, "Like you don't know." He rolled his eyes when he ex-roommate shook his head in denial. "I am being forced to move back to New Jersey while the university investigates what is likely to ruin my credibility in the scientific world."

Sheldon quickly figured out that was why Penny wanted him to stay on the camp grounds with her, but he wisely kept his mouth shut. He had no intention of ruining Penny's carefully laid plans.

"It must be troubling for your past errors to catch up to you, Leonard." Sheldon had no reason or desire to apologize the shorter man's shortcomings.

"Aren't you going to protest on my behalf?" Leonard's puny arms were crossed as he tried to look intimidating.

"Why?"

Leonard snorted through his nose as he peered around the stacked boxes. "Never mind, you were a lousy friend," he muttered in a slime green shirt depicting the Boogey Man with a speech bubble of 'I'm coming to get you.' "Where's Penny?" he uttered in frustration.

"So were you, Leonard," Sheldon's reminder startled the man in loose jeans. "You will not be getting pity coitus with her any longer. She will not be here to see you off." Sheldon's voice screamed authority and no arguing.

Leonard grumbled under his breath like the Scrooge while his dusty room smelled like a second hand store. He went back to placing his secret box of PlayBoy Magazines inside another box.

Sheldon went into the living room to find his figurine which was in the middle of the Battle Star: Galatica memorable. It was in danger of being crushed by some heavier items. He easily switched his book for the worn and ripped copy of Leonard's before he came back out.

A honk from the street caused Leonard to lean out the den's window. A U-haul truck was down stairs waiting for his disposal. It was be taking his stuff to New Jersey while he flew there a few days later. He grabbed two 6-inch tall boxes to carry down. "Are you going to fraking help me?"

Sheldon nodded somberly, "I'll send your stuff down so I don't have to keep going up and down four flights of stairs. If you encouraged the land lady to fix the elevator, we wouldn't have this problem." Sheldon had already devised a pulley system in his mind to use.

Two looped ropes would hold the weight of the boxes on a square piece of wood as another rope from the fourth floor would raise and lower the boxes.

Light boxes went first then fragile next followed by the heavy boxes. Sheldon sent them down in rapid order, but still made sure they were secure. Leonard had nonverbally made it clear he was no taking the musty couch with him, so Sheldon dissected the couch for the trash.

That night, the fully packed U-Haul was on its way to Beverly's house, where Leonard would be staying in her basement.


	5. Chapter 5

Leonard spent Thursday morning with Amy, including lunch.

"How did I end up jobless without a girlfriend and particularly homeless?" Leonard sat across from Amy at Pizza Ranch at a booth. His head was braced on his palms. A weary sigh escaped his parched mouth. This whole ordeal had caused his asthma to worsen, making his breath through his mouth.

Amy wore a blue denim skirt, leaned back in the wood seat as she contemplated his question. Her index finger pushed her glass' pink rims up her nose. Thanks to Penny, Amy's idea of fashion had evolved. A pink flannel fitted shirt made her chest bustier. "From what I have seen and heard, you measure your success against others' success, which makes you feel incompetent, which causes you to act out. You need a more rewarding career."

"My life has been based on science. What else could I possibly do?" Leonard whined in a nasal voice. "To make matters worse, I am due for a cholesterol screening, which I think will be high since I've been putting on weight."

Amy rolled her eyes under closed eyelids. She was exasperated by how one man had so many complaints. "Your diet consists of take-out with no exercise to counteract it. You need to learn how to cook while enrolling in a New Jersey gym. The original topic is just as easily fixed as well. By becoming a science teacher, your reward will be making science cool and fun for future generations. Then you will be responsible for future scientists and their discoveries." Amy was growing tired of the feeble-minded man's complaints. She has every intention of emailing her ideas for Leonard to Sheldon so he could forward them to Beverly, Leonard's mother.

The waitress came over with a grey pen and pad of paper. "What can I getcha, folks?" Her work outfit showed evidence of food throwing toddlers. She smelled like pepperoni pizza.

"Hawaiian pizza for the lactose intolerant," Amy ordered. "He'll have a lemon water while I'll take an unsweetened tea." She ignored the harsh look directed her way.

"The pizza will be ready in 35 minutes. Any appetizers while you are waiting?"

"Salads would be great, please." Amy let Leonard think to herself as she planned tomorrow's outfit of a solid brown pleated skirt with a pink and brown polka dotted tank top and ankle high boots. She wrote a reference letter so Leonard could get a job as a science teacher at a middle school in New Jersey.

Thursday afternoon saw Leonard drive off to the airport. Penelope was in Sheldon's arms on the roof, watching Leonard officially leaving their lives and her diabolical plan coming to fruition.

"This is the beginning of the rest of our lives." Penny declared after she laid a kiss on Sheldon.


End file.
